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coming out/down


i have never been one for altitude;

any difference in atmosphere that my evolutionary

          development is unaccustomed to.


this is the reason i have always dated women who are shorter

          than me.


because men with mountain shoulders were the ones who

          showed me the allure of the cliff.

the danger of standing on the edge with no net below and a

          pair of hands at your back.


i always tell my friends that dating men for me was like


something i was only comfortable with because i watched

          the people around me.

something that strapped me to a foreign body and stole

          the breath from my lungs.

something just perilous enough to thrill but not appealing

          enough to repeat.


men taught me the exhilaration of the fall.

almost convinced me that falling and flying were two sides

          of the same breeze.

like parachutes were just billowy wings to crowd under.


women taught me to crave the taste of ascent.

showed me how to read the air and float on its thrust.

how to love as freely and fearlessly as birds conquer the sky.


guided me in my chasing the sun

even after moonlit men with midnight hands

burned me with backdraft comfort.

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